Do you love?
Equal Human Rights will Make People Love Unconditionally
Erich Fromm wrote a scientific book about love, “The Art of Loving.” He defined love as the rational orientation of people based on freedom and mutual respect. His contribution to understanding love is significant, which made his book very popular. However, Erich Fromm’s attempt to teach people love failed to spread love worldwide because he based love on people’s consciousness. The problem is that people’s conscience is a category with no power to establish freedom, rationality and mutual respect, and nothing else exists. As a result, people have not discovered how to love unconditionally. This paper intends to present that love directly depends on equal human rights. Equal human rights will give people the power to demystify indulging values of the outer world and to accept the inner world where all love of people is located. This paper teaches people to find love in themselves and develop it unconditionally.
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People have the ability to love by their nature. Love is the most significant achievement people have and may develop in their life. Love is a state of mind based on caring for others, bringing the joy of living. Love is the condition of the soul that enriches the person who loves and the whole world. People who love carry a feeling of inner peace, stability, lightness and joy; that is how loving people can be identified. In a natural society, love exists on its own and develops spontaneously.
People decline love when they alienate themselves from their inherited ability to love. It starts by comparing themselves with other people. Instead of searching for the causes of a good life in themselves, people find the superficial explanation of life benefits, comparing their life with the lives of others. Then they quickly come to the subjective conclusion that power over people brings satisfaction and a good life. This conclusion is false. The need for dominance generates conflict among people causing social problems. Power over people has nothing to do with a good life and even less with love. People cannot fight with others and love them at the same time. Conflict among people alienates them from the chance to accomplish a good life. This article will present that the escape from all social problems lies in equal human rights. It is also a condition for maintaining and developing love. The purpose of this article is to explain it.
Narcissism
The lack of equal human rights creates narcissism. Narcissism is a subjective state of mind primarily developed by the privileged statuses of people, which gives people an impression of superiority. One can generalize that the more privileged people are, the more narcissistic they are. For example, spoiled children, excellent students, and influential people are generally more privileged, which likely means more narcissistic. But narcissism can also grow in the subjective minds of everyone as a reaction to an inferior position in society, which is nothing but the lack of equal human rights.
The differences among narcissistic people are often only in nuances because every person can build an illusion of power or privileges in a world of their thoughts. Practically all people possess some narcissistic character traits because our alienated culture teaches people to be narcissistic. The less narcissistic people are, the healthier they are for themselves and society. The more narcissistic people are, the less they love.
Some people call narcissism self-love because successful narcissistic people may look lovely and charming. They adore their images, character, deeds and success in society. They enjoy their abilities, their thoughts, their beauty, their characteristics, their family, their nation, and everything that is connected with them.
Does narcissism contain love in itself? Rather not, but the problem is, in fact, semantic. If one can say, “I love chocolate,” where the term “love” actually means “enjoy,” then one can stretch the meaning of love to narcissism but in a very inferior form. Narcissism and love are separate categories, as their names suggest. People possess both characteristics; however, people who love more are less narcissistic and vice versa. In the following pages, people with more developed narcissistic characteristics are called narcissistic people; even though they can love, their abilities to love are less developed.
Narcissistic people are very ambitious. They want to climb the social scale by becoming an authority; their goal in life is success either by achieving power, earning money, winning a contest, or whatever they find appealing. They prefer to compete and, even more so, to win! The ego of the narcissist is very passionate, giving them enormous energy, which provides excellent opportunities to win but less chance to love. People who love base their mutual relations less on competition and more on cooperation.
Narcissistic people are subjective and tend to give their successes greater importance than they deserve. The narcissistic culture has raised superficial forms of value such as power, wealth, fame, beauty, strength, speed, etc. These values have become the most valuable goals in today’s society. They are objectively not so beneficial to people, but the alienated society has put them on a pedestal. Alienated values cannot bring genuine advantages to individuals. On the contrary, those values usually bring the opposite. These values damage the long-term possibility of creating social prosperity.
If narcissistic people are successful, as famous singers, actors or politicians might be, they are delighted, and their ego shines. This is mainly because such happiness finds the illusion of overcoming their powerlessness in nature, and therefore, the narcissistic pleasure may be pretty intense. As such, it can easily deceive people into thinking they are on the right track. Narcissistic happiness is primarily based on illusions because narcissism alienates people from objective reality.
The problem is, by developing their narcissistic character, narcissistic people value themselves significantly more than others. As a result, such people lose respect towards others, reducing the chance to reach the natural advantages in relationships with others and diminishing the opportunity to love.
Since narcissistic people overestimate themselves, they can easily confront objective reality. They hardly tolerate competition that may threaten their vision. Sooner or later, life shows narcissistic people they are not as strong, bright, or beautiful as they would like, bringing them stress and frustration. Any happiness people exercise undeservedly through illusions comes back as a painful payment. Narcissistic people often try to escape their tension by indulging in the abuse of substances; thus, they can be recognized.
Dissatisfied narcissistic people may quickly clash with other people. It can be said that virtually all conflicts in society are based on the damaged narcissistic character of people. By their subjective vision, narcissistic people can identify threats to their alienated needs as threats to their existence. It induces the fight for the survival of their illusions. The more narcissistic vision is threatened, the more they hate and the more brutal conflict they produce. All the cruelty of this world comes from endangered narcissism. An injured narcissism causes a destructive orientation in narcissistic people. Such people can fall into depression, which can develop into the need for self-destruction that can be extended to the need to destroy the world.
Genuine people have reasonable expectations, which they may fulfill, reaching stability. If the world does not match the needs of genuine people, they do not hate; they feel saddened. Sadness is a much healthier emotion, and unlike hatred, it allows people to find a way out of an unsatisfactory situation. Love always benefits those who love, while narcissism can hardly achieve that. Narcissism will rather induce evil in narcissistic people spreading it to the world around them. Narcissistic people produce trouble in their surroundings. People must eliminate narcissism to achieve a prosperous future for humankind. This will be possible by implementing equal human rights.
Love of authorities
Genuine authorities impact society through their positive example and help others when asked for it. They never impose their knowledge or values on others. Unfortunately, such authorities are rare today.
In alienated societies, authorities have built privileged power over people by forcing people to accept their subjective knowledge. Such authorities are inadequate because they cannot improve the community. Throughout the history of humankind, inadequate authorities have created a vast amount of false knowledge that society has adopted. Such knowledge is alienated from objective reality and therefore prevents society from natural development.
Authorities and people may build a stable mutual relationship, which might look like love. Authorities need obedient people to establish their power. Obedient people need authorities because it is more convenient for them to depend on the authorities than to be left alone in a frightening world. But the relationship between authority and followers is only an illusion of love. If we extend the meaning of love, such love is at least undeveloped. It should be rather labelled as a perverted concept of love.
A relationship based on the servility of obedient people and the control of authority always presents some degree of a sadomasochistic relationship, which is unproductive. A sadist is a person who finds pleasure in dominating people, which can be developed into extreme brutality. On the other hand, a masochist finds pleasure in submission to authorities until complete obedience. Sadomasochism should be considered a very unhealthy relationship. More about it may be found in my article Equal Human Rights will Eliminate Sadomasochism.
Today’s society is not enough aware that all the evil in the world origins in a lack of equal human rights. Authorities build privileges and exploit people through the unfair distribution of social wealth. Unsatisfied followers of authorities are potential time bombs that wait for a reason to release their stress anywhere in real life.
In a society without equal human rights, narcissistic authorities deceive obedient people and, on the way to achieving greater power, use them to subdue other people or nations. Obedient people, dissatisfied with the life authorities cause, accept leaders’ demands uncritically, becoming blind henchmen. That easily creates some form of group narcissism which only may look like love, while building militant foundations for conflicts and wars. A humble masochist, under authority’s guidance, may become a heartless weapon in the leaders’ hands. Militant people do not love. People who love do not support wars. This article claims that the escape lies in equal human rights, which will eliminate social problems, including sadomasochism.
Falling in love
Probably the first association that people have with the word love is falling in love. Falling in love is the most famous expression of love today and perhaps the most described and sung term of all time. People often mystify falling in love with magical romantic feelings that rise under no control. I would say that the main characteristic of people who fall in love is fear and hope. Juvenile uncertainty and optimism toward life bring a high possibility of falling in love.
Young people usually think they need to find an appropriate person to fall in love with, and magically romantic love will happen. First, I would like to emphasize that there is nothing magic in falling in love. It is entirely commercial behaviour that gives an illusion of a magical performance. People know how much their attractiveness is worth in the alienated value market because everyday life teaches them that. An appropriate person for love is a product of in-depth preparation and random events. There is almost nothing wrong with it because a person should choose a partner who suits them more. Rational behaviour in the choosing of partners is more than welcome. But the people who quickly fall in love are pretty subjective, which means they are not reasonable enough. They are quite foolish in selecting partners.
When an appropriate person for falling in love appears in the sight of a subjective person, high energy of happiness is released that attracts. Suppose it finds an appropriate response from the other side. In that case, a miracle of “love” appears, which indulges the release of all the brakes, and all the doubts about the acceptability of the partner disappear. The person then feels “the chemistry,” and the world becomes beautiful. This miraculous phenomenon described in countless songs is just a sweet illusion resulting from the liberation of considerable insecurity. There is almost no love there. People who are confident in themselves can hardly fall in love, but they are capable of loving.
Falling in love brings such great happiness that it can be compared to escaping death. People fall in love because they feel dead in authoritarian societies that take freedom from them. In the act of falling in love, people release themselves from the pressure authorities have imposed on them throughout their lives. Falling in love compensates for all the powerlessness people have felt in society and builds an illusion of power. It brings euphoria, and people wrongfully assign it to the “loved” person. This is why falling in love is an illusion.
Falling in love is very superficial, and a person who falls in love often quickly satiates with the loved one. If the emotions towards the loved person end, they are never loved because love lasts. Love develops practically the whole life. Love is an active learning in practice that brings pleasure. The person who loves does not stop getting to know their partner. By learning more about their partner, a person learns how to improve their partner’s life. That brings the joy of love.
Many people can’t wait to fall in love. If they knew better, they would avoid the state of being in love. Falling in love is sweet, but it harms the people who fall in love because the happiness that uncontrollably rises challenges people’s capability to see objectively the situation in which they are. People alienated from their productive orientation can hardly love. Love is a consequence of the productive orientation of people based on equal human rights. Productive people have difficulty falling in love, but they can love. Love is stable and grows with time. Once people accept equal human rights, they will build productive relationships in society, teaching people how to love, and they will love.
Love of children
Love is a natural phenomenon that develops from childhood. Loving parents take care of their children, showing them what love is. Unfortunately, today’s society has become alienated from its nature and does not know love enough to be able to pass it on to children. An authoritarian society, by alienated demands, suppresses the ability of parents to love their children. In capitalism, parents don’t have time to give their children the love they need because they must work to survive. Capitalism seems interested in disintegrating families to get more dependent workers and consumers. It is a political problem that should be solved by reducing working hours.
Furthermore, in an alienated society, parents are often occupied with their ambitions, so they do not have enough time for their children. They usually hide their ambitions behind their sacrifices for the family’s welfare, overestimating the value of their ambitions and underestimating their children’s lives. Children who do not receive enough love are emotionally handicapped and less able to love. Such children can easily become long-term problems for themselves, their parents and society. Children can discover how to love later in life, but in an alienated society, this rarely happens.
Instead of love, parents often pressure their children to submit to their will in the name of “higher interests.” Alienated parents cannot see the needs of their children objectively. Parental pressure alienates children from their nature, reducing their chances to live well. Children who oppose adults can easily be right because they are closer to their nature. Therefore, the resistance of children should be respected, which is nothing more than the promotion of equal human rights. Once accepted by society, equal human rights will teach parents to discover love and give it to their children. Only then can a bright future for humanity begin.
Love needs equal human rights
People need the freedom to liberate themselves from the influences of alienation authorities have imposed throughout history. Free people will discover through practice the genuine way of living. This is the so-called process of disalienation. It will be achieved by recognizing that a good society must be based on equal human rights.
But just a moment, haven’t people today already had equal rights after the development and acceptance of equal human, civil, legal, constitutional, and other human rights all over the world? Of course, they have not! It is only formal equality and propaganda by immoral authorities. The presidents of countries may send people to war, and people cannot do it to them. Bosses may abuse or fire workers, and workers cannot do it to them. Teachers may force students to accept knowledge, and students cannot do it to them. Where are the equal rights there? People probably think it is entirely normal because they have always lived in such a society, but this is not normal!
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Equal human rights will solve social problems by developing democracy. It will be achieved by giving people equal legislative, judiciary and executive powers in society. Everyone should get equal rights to evaluate others for whatever they do. Each positive evaluation should bring a small award to the assessed person, and each negative evaluation should result in a small punishment. Such a policy would make everyone work hard to please others and avoid hurting anybody. This will significantly contribute to creating a good society. The equal evaluating power among people presents a new form of democracy, and the freedom of evaluation presents a new form of anarchy. Therefore, such a policy can be called democratic anarchy. Democratic anarchy alone should be capable of building a much better society than we have today.
Let the evaluations have an equivalent value of one dollar. Each reward a person receives from somebody will bring them one dollar, and each penalty will take away from them one dollar. In that manner, all people will become equal authorities with little direct power in society. It is essential to emphasize that the number of assessments will be limited so that people will evaluate only the best and worse individuals. However, democratic anarchy will still have enough power to direct each member of society to respect other people. As a result, people will become valuable to others, creating significant advantages for the community and diminishing or abolishing disadvantages.
Here is one example: the US President might get 100,000,000 bad evaluations from the American people for bad policies, lies, and criminal aggression on countries. This would cost him 100,000,000 dollars in only one month. Presidents who fail to meet people’s needs will quickly resign from their positions. Only the most skilful and brave individuals would dare lead countries. They will not be authorities anymore but sincere servants of the people.
Technically, democratic anarchy will create similar phenomena as love among people because it will bring caring for others as love does. But it will still not be love. Once the implementation of democratic anarchy starts, most people will probably not feel satisfaction in giving, which is the basis of love. Initially, the pleasure may come from the egotistic need to receive good evaluations from people and avoid bad ones. However, it will be beneficial because people will create advantages and avoid disadvantages for all of society.
Democratic anarchy will remove social privileges. It must be stressed that the privileged status of individuals causes enormous problems for society. Democratic anarchy will teach people that no matter what their successes are, they must not forget that they are equal community members. This will liberate people from narcissism and enable the development of love. Democratic anarchy is presented in more detail in my article Democratic Anarchy is the Future of Democracy.
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Equal human rights need to be introduced in production processes as well, which will significantly improve the economy. First, society needs to introduce full employment of workers through shorter work hours. Then people need to accept a permanent open competition of workers for every public work post at any time. Every public job post will be filled by the worker who offers higher productivity, more responsibility, and demands a lower wage. It is nothing but a developed work market open at all times. Such a division of labour sounds impossible to achieve mainly because it never existed, but the realization is just a technical problem.
Of course, such an economy cannot be established soon because it will require a lot of development before people embrace it. But once people establish it, the burdens and benefits of a living will be justly distributed among the people, forming a just society. In addition, no economy can be more productive than the one where each job gets the best available worker. Private companies will lose the productivity battle with public companies, sending capitalism down in history. This economy presents an enormous socio-economic improvement opportunity to build good socialism. The new division of labour is explained in detail in my article Developed Marked of Work will Create Socialism.
The new socialism will teach workers to become satisfied with their lives. It will be accomplished by calling each worker very responsible for the productivity they offer to get the jobs they want. It will teach workers to set their needs following their abilities to satisfy them. This is the chief prerequisite for overcoming destructiveness in society because workers who consistently meet their needs are satisfied and not destructive. Then society will develop a new culture that will create a productive orientation of people.
Democratic anarchy and open competition among workers will completely eliminate social privileges, the nest of all societal problems. Nobody will be socially privileged in any way anymore. The elite will disappear together with the vast alienation they built. Removing privileges will eliminate the central nest of narcissism and sadomasochism in the community. Then, no improper authorities and obedient people will be able to exist. Eliminating privileges by establishing equal human rights is crucial for the development of society. Then a promising future for humankind may begin.
An open market of work will increase competition among people. I’ve already mentioned that competitions destroy love. Does this mean that my proposal is against love? No way! Competitions cannot be removed in any other way than by people’s understanding through their own experience that competitions are unnecessary and inappropriate for achieving a decent life. Freedom of experience is the only way to find the truth.
The idea assumes that open competition for all workplaces will allow everyone to try them, demystifying the importance of jobs and balancing the interests in all of them. Also, open competition in all workplaces will be exhausting, diminishing the competitive interest of workers. As a result, people will give up on the competition, give up on the need to compare themselves with other people, and instead find value in themselves. Then they will readily accept equality among people, enabling them to find genuine values in their lives.
There is a vibrant inner world in people where all the love, hate, joy and misery of humanity are located. In a just society, where people understand that they are equal to all others no matter what accomplishments they achieve, exploiting the outer world will barely be able to bring noticeable benefits to people. Then, people will start searching for values in their inner world. When such orientation is accepted, hate and misery will be eliminated because they do not exist in the inner world of individuals who are relieved from the need to compare themselves with others. In contrast, love and joy will significantly develop because nothing else exists in the inner world of individuals who are relieved from the need to compare themselves with others.
The most critical point of an individual’s creation is themselves. Searching the inner world will let people know themselves and develop themselves as productive beings. The more people get to know themselves, the more freedom, peace, joy, wisdom, and love they can achieve.
Equality is a sufficient condition for the formation of a good society and the creation of love. Equality is also the only solution to all of the societal problems today and fundamental for the unconditional establishment of love. Love is a product of the equal rights of people.
When people accept equal human rights, they will rely on their power to satisfy their needs while respecting others. That would establish the conscience of productive people. Then under-developed people would no longer exist. Then no one would admire a president, singer or football player more than any other person; not one idol would exist anymore. Then neither powerful nor powerless people would exist, and improper authorities and humble followers would not exist. Then narcissism, sadism and masochism would no longer exist. This will overcome the enormous alienation we live in today and allow the building of love beyond the wildest dreams today, creating a bright future for humankind.
Conclusion
So far, scientists and philosophers have found conscience as the only tool for solving numerous social problems, reaching a good society and creating love among people. However, it never worked because consciences is not a category capable of accomplishing such goals. Calling for conscience may affect some people but never all. One unconscious person may reverse a conscious effort of society. Power to the people, not consciousness, will change the world and make it a flourishing place.
Equal human rights will free people from the power of authorities. People released from the pressure of authorities will demystify the alienated values imposed on them throughout history and discover natural ways of living. It will enlighten people, lowering their interest in comparing themselves with others, making them productive and finding the values in their inner world full of love. Then society will start spreading love in its best and most beautiful form. Love is the final result of the new socialism based on equal human rights. Once people start loving each other, they will create an entirely new world beyond the wildest dreams of the alienated society of today.
Developed people do not depend on anybody because they can achieve what they need on their own; they love other people unconditionally just because they are. They find great joy in building themselves as productive people and find even greater joy in love.
Writen 22.06.2009
Updated 12.11.2022
