Let’s love each other
Love is the highest achievement a person can reach in life, and therefore gives the greatest satisfaction possible. In a natural society, love is likely a natural phenomenon that develops on its own. In the alienated society we live in today, we do not know how to love each other. If we try, the result is often controversial compared to the achievements, because alienation has made our love perverted. To learn how to love, we must return to our nature.
A child loves its parents because it needs them. If, as adults, we still depend on authorities, we still love them, but our love is underdeveloped, to say the least. Our culture has accepted a system of privileges that stimulates the growth of authorities and restrains the power of subordinate people. The privileged authorities, namely, take away the freedom and oppress the subordinated people. The relation between intrusive authorities and obedient followers always presents some kind of sadomasochism and is therefore very unproductive. It perverts the meaning of love and, indeed, develops it.
On the other hand, the privileges develop authoritarian narcissism. Narcissism is, in fact, a fall into self-love. It is an inferior form of love that prevents the development of love and, therefore, prevents a person from reaching the most significant possible advantages they could achieve in the developed form of love. If a person’s primary goal in life is to become a boss or any authority, they may achieve an illusion of happiness, but they are headed in the wrong direction.
Narcissistic happiness has a very alienating nature that quickly turns into a conflict with objective reality, and therefore, contrary to love, narcissistic happiness is very unstable and promptly disappears. After such happiness certainly comes disappointment, which leads to even greater disadvantages in life and a very destructive orientation for such a man. Therefore, narcissistic people are much easier to hate than to love.
A person can hardly recognize their narcissistic character in themselves, so they probably think that narcissistic people are other people and not themselves. Almost all people possess some narcissistic characteristics because our alienated everyday culture teaches us to be narcissistic. Generally speaking, we may say that more privileged people are more narcissistic and therefore they love less. However, the differences are often only in shades. That is the reason the world we live in is as it is.
To overcome the narcissistic orientation of people, we need to accept the nature of society. If a person wants to differ from animals, they must recognize that society is founded on the freedom and equality of the people.
Therefore, the system I have proposed offers each complete independence and freedom of expression, provided that such freedom does not harm or disadvantage others. The system will compel people to respect one another. Mutual evaluation will achieve that. Each man will have an equal right to evaluate the activity of any other person.
Each positive assessment will automatically bring a small award to the assessed person, and each negative evaluation will result in the same form of punishment. This will direct each member of society to create the highest possible advantages for the community and to reduce or eliminate all kinds of disadvantages.
Technically speaking, this resembles love because love is based on indiscriminately caring for others and giving. But it is still not loving. Once the implementation of this system starts, people would probably not feel satisfaction in the very act of giving and therefore, that would not be love. At first, the pleasure will come from the egotistic need to receive better evaluations from others. However, it will be beneficial because people will create advantages and avoid disadvantages for society as a whole.
Narcissism is the leading cause that prevents people from accepting my ideas and from having good and joyful lives. Narcissism is the worst enemy to humankind ever, but most people do not know that it even exists. That is why my struggle is so difficult. However, I am very persistent in promoting the new system, and one day it will be accepted. Then people will be relieved of narcissism, which is the condition sine qua non for learning what love is.
Developed love requires an entirely productive orientation of people, which is quite unknown in our society. That is the reason love is rare today. The new system will enable such direction. It will free people from all types of alienation the authorities have imposed on society throughout human history, and will teach people to live in accordance with their own nature. The responsibility that the new system proposes to the people will motivate them to set their needs based on the possibilities for satisfaction. This is the chief prerequisite for overcoming destructiveness in society because people who permanently satisfy their demands are not destructive.
Then society will develop a new culture that fosters a productive orientation in people. Society will start building love in its most beautiful and best shape. Even the worst people may find some love in themselves when they are satisfied with their lives. Over time, they will love each other as well. Love is the final result of the system I have proposed. Once people start loving each other, they will create an entirely new world, with benefits beyond the wildest dreams of today’s alienated society. You can find more about that in my book Humanism.
A developed person does not depend on anybody because they can achieve everything they need alone; they love other people unconditionally just because they are. They find great satisfaction in engaging in productive activities, in building themselves as productive people, and even greater joy in love.
An unknown medical doctor wrote: Let’s dance in the rain!
It was a busy morning around 8:30 when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided that, since I wasn't busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redressed his wound. While caring for his wound, I asked if he had another doctor’s appointment that morning, as he seemed in a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he were a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and had not recognized him in five years. I was surprised and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?’ He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.’
I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goosebumps on my arm and thought, ‘That is the kind of love I want in my life.’ True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun in emails, sometimes one comes along with an important message. I'd like to share this one with you. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did. ‘Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.’